two points for honesty

i am a firm believer in the golden rule. if you treat people with respect and give them nothing but honesty and compassion, i think it will all come back to you in the end. it might take a long time and you might get shit on constantly- but it will come back. i try my best to give people the benefit of the doubt and if i connect with them on a genuine level (i'm talking friend level, here) i tend to give all of myself. i make myself available to listen, give advice, and just be there for whatever. now i might not get that in return at the moment but i'm hopeful that one day, i'll get the same treatment. i do tend to do the same with relationships as well. i give as much as i can because it makes me feel good and i believe that's what you're supposed to do when you love someone, friend or otherwise. does it come back to bite me sometimes? absolutely. it has time and time again in the past, but i still give people my all. it just feels like the right thing to do. maybe i'm insane. lately i've been feeling that i am because of this. i would just like to have it all reciprocated and openly appreciated. so goes it. 

also, i believe that having a history with a friend does strengthen the friendship no matter how dysfunctional it may be. when i know someone for so long it's that much harder to give up on them. what is considered crossing the line in telling a friend they are headed down the wrong road? when are you supposed to keep your mouth shut? i wonder about this often, especially recently. when you do know a friend for such a long time, you know who they really are and who they used to be. i don't think that part of a person ever goes away. i think everyone i know is still the same awkward 12 to 13 year old they were. i see it as a fact. when a friend goes off the deep end, i think it's only fair to help them try to get back to that place- start from the ground up. no matter how obnoxious, bitchy, loud, mean, or inconsiderate a best friend can get, i have got to make every effort to bring that person back down to earth. if i can't, it breaks my heart but i know i tried. time for another round of happy listings.

winning something on eBay, compliments, finding a really good book, being in the library in the evening, dancing alone, feeling ridiculously sore after a workout, being  proud of a piece of my artwork, having the house to myself, the color yellow, arizona diet green tea from the can.