all dreamers take to the sky

the end of august marks the end of summer. school will be starting up again as will commuting, assignments, and the general woes of being a student. but with the school year comes positive things such as reuniting with fellow students and friends, getting back to the place where constant thought is appreciated, the stimulation of the brain, and the changing of the seasons. also, i'll be working toward that degree i so desperately want and am so very close to attaining. who knows what will happen after i get it. i still want to explore the medical realm of careers but i don't know if i have the motivation or steam left to go through more schooling. it's a terrible, awful thing to admit being that i even have the opportunity and gift of education but it's just the truth. if i get extremely lucky and land some sort of well paying job in the field i've been educated in, i may just stick with that and save the extra schooling for later on in life- but i'm not getting my hopes up on that one, at all. whatever happens, i have a strong feeling it will all work out just fine- better than fine, even. when i think of the future, i think of possibilities- not fears and upcoming responsibility and somewhat frightening independence. i can't wait to experience more and make a name for myself, somewhere. i can't wait to build something of my own. it overwhelms me in a good way.

i have very mixed feelings toward this semester, though. i wonder about if i can handle my course load, what my classes expect of me, and how other things have the potential to change. i can't be sure of how anything will go, even if my outlook is a positive one. i don't do well with change so that frightens me a bit. like everything else, i have to take it day by day and that will have to be enough. i've heard countless times that change is good but in some situations change feels more like failure to me. i feel like the act of changing something is akin to giving up on something- and i hate not giving things in my life to have every fair chance it deserves. people seem to have varying opinions on this.

yesterday i finally found an album i had been searching for for literally five years. what awaits us by dearly departed was worth the hunt. i found it at a store called utopia in hicksville, maybe twenty to thirty minutes from where i live. tom took me on a whim and i am quite grateful to him for the idea of going. he ended up getting as the eternal cowboy by against me! vinyl LP and it sounds really great on the record player.

the ever expanding list: the seasons changing, looking at the exterior of a house, looking at the interior of a house, fall nights, the little things, being distracted, finding sought after music, a clean bill of health, having a clean bill of health be the only bill, choreographed dance scenes, hanging porch swings, tree swings, new clothes, old clothes, feeling like sleeping late is an accomplishment, the colors that accompany autumn, the fact that yo gabba gabba exists, marine life.