Saturday, December 5, 2009

what it's like to eat what's rotten

obese people break my heart. no matter how they got to that point, whether it was all their fault or not- they just depress me. what a horrible existence to be trapped inside your own body, a prisoner of your own skin. true, there's a way to be freed of that but for a lot of people that's just not an option due to financial issues or some other limiting circumstance. the fuel that powers obese people to keep eating and eating and eating is almost always so deep seeded and nearly impossible to get rid of. the appetite that drives them everyday seems to be unable to be satiated. television shows that glorify and exploit these people disgust me. i can't watch them, not even five minutes. the continuous footage of someone who would otherwise be able to lift himself out of a chair simply can't because of his sheer size. the person behind that camera should be ashamed of themselves. to sit back and watch human beings eat themselves to death and struggle with shifting their own weight is just as bad as letting someone slit their wrists and drain their blood in the bathtub. they're both slow and in-plain-view ways to die. sure, we have a whole medical field dedicated to the obese population but bariatrics hasn't done much for the growing number of americans eating their way into oblivion.

this isn't a judgment on obese people at all. i truly hurt for them. i understand harboring a hatred and love for food, both personally and vicariously through certain family members. to carry that emotional and physical weight is exhausting and seemingly unbearable. i hate that this issue is being paraded around on television like some oddity, when in reality it's all too common.

to bring myself out of this gut wrenching topic, here's a few things that bring me joy.

stale marshmallows, oversized mugs, being able to hear how cold it is outside while i'm in a warm house, new bras to match my underwear, warmth in general, hugs, meaningful conversations, promises kept, long lasting friendships, wrapping gifts, old nickelodeon shows, space heaters, mohonk mountain, a clean room, "i love you"'s spelled and pronounced that very way, j brand jeans, being able to make someone's day, being listened to, getting the perfect gift for someone, being understood, pizza, finishing something.

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